My moms name is Burlyne, she has Dementia / Alzheimer’s.
Last year when my father passed away, she went on a rapid decline with her memory. I didn’t know anything about Dementia at the time and learned so much over all these months. It all made started to make sense, the birthdays she forgot over the years, the holidays, any special occasion. It hurt so much and I started to feel resentment from it. Little did I know, it wasn’t me personally, it was the disease progressing and her mind was changing, her memories were fading away….
Forgetting how to get to the grocery store and getting lost driving just miles from home. I wondered why she would just go to the small convenience store around the corner for milk and bread, because that was all she knew I guess!
As the days and weeks passed, I watched her forget the simplest things like how to use the microwave or the stove. She would not cook anymore and only eat cereal or an olive loaf & cheese sandwich daily for meals. Her stubborn nature at first refused my help, but I did it anyways. It was not safe for her to drive anymore, so I would go to the grocery store and get her refrigerator stocked up and made her a nice meal for dinner every night. She enjoyed it, and the company too plus I was all she had left to help her out, her daughter but I became “the girl” over time. When she would set a 3rd place at the table for my father, I would have to remind her that he died. It ripped my heart apart and daily I would drive home in tears filled with sadness and frustration. I didn’t understand what was happening. I no longer remind her, why cause her heart any more pain or confusion.
She has loved gardening and flowers all her life and spent a lot of time out back in her garden making sure the flowers are watered and looking pretty. I buy her a bouquet of fresh colorful flowers every week and it makes face light up with a big smile. When they start to go brown and die, I noticed she would take them out back and plant in the ground. She didn’t know any better that they won’t revive but it made her happy, she was doing what she loved to do. I even saw a fake little Christmas tree I bought for her was planted outside. Of course I chuckled a bit then held back the tears until they flowed on the drive home. Dementia took my mom away :(
So this leads to Burlyne’s Backyard. Forget-me-nots remind me of my mom in so many ways, just the name alone but also that they are pretty purplish blue flowers that she also loved. It has so much meaning to me now.
An old friend she grew up with in Maine as young children wrote to her and she showed me the card one random day, it was apologizing for popping in for a visit months back and how my mom didn’t remember her. She was being funny like maybe I gained a few pounds and you didn’t recognize me. The name and phone number was on there so I decided to call from the house phone but she didn’t answer in time. She immediately called back thrilled to see her number on the caller ID and hear from Burlyne, but it was me. I tried to explain what has happened, that her husband passed away and her memory was fading, rapidly. Even me, she would not remember I am her daughter anymore or even my name. I wanted her friend to know, 75ish years of friendship means a lot and she had no idea. She gave me her mailing address and asked that I kept in touch so I decided to make her a gift with a picture of my mom I took on her birthday. That is the one above I put forget me nots on the border of it it and had my mom write “To Bev, Love Burlyne” which I took her handwriting and then laser engraved it onto the back and mailed it off to her friend with a letter explaining a bit more. It warmed my heart that she was thrilled to get it, she said she hugged it so tight!
That brings us to the why, Burlyne’s Backyard is what I am naming this collection as she is my inspiration to drive awareness to this awful disease.
A collection of all forget me not products that a portion of the sales will go to a local non-profit in the community called Bread for Life who deliver hot meals and have education on Dementia
